How Bizarre
Tonight:
I kissed a girl in front of my boss
I was offered $1000 to go to a guy’s hotel room
I made weekend tips on a weeknight
I found out exactly how bad I am at pool
I tried lots of tasty drinks
Just your not-so-typical Tuesday night at work.
Filed under Uncategorized | Comments (3)The Girl, The Belly, and The Wardrobe
I don’t care how skinny you are or how much self-confidence you have, every girl has those days when it seems like none of your clothes look right on you. The days when you try on every shirt in your closet and still can’t find anything to wear. The days when you vow to never eat a french fry again.
I’m having one of those days… at least half of the clothes I own are crumpled on my bed and I was supposed to be at Thompson’s an hour ago and nothing is fitting right. I hate these days with a passion. I know I’m not fat, I know I’m not frumpy. But it’s so hard to ignore those feelings when they gather steam with every pair of pants that comes out of the closet.
Will someone please make me feel pretty?
Filed under Uncategorized | Comments (4)“You know what we need? Cookies.”
That’s what I told my boss tonight.
Unfortunately, there were no cookies to be had. And I needed sugar, dammit. So I totally bribed one of the waiters at the CLOSED Italian restaurant two doors down to get me some chocolate mousse out of their CLOSED kitchen.
Let me tell you, it was worth every penny. All 1000 of them.
Filed under Uncategorized | Comment (1)Attention, Please
I have an announcement…
Honey, No is now up and running! Enjoy.
Filed under Uncategorized | Comment (1)Flirting For Dummies
Ways not to hit on me:
* Tell me my eyes are “the bomb”
* Explain that I will fall hopelessly in love with you anyway so I may as well give up resistance now
* Make eyes at me while your wife/girlfriend is in the bathroom
* Send your friend over to flirt with me for you
And I’ve only been bartending for 2 weeks.
If any of these sounds like something you would try, please kick yourself in the shin for me. I mean, honestly.
Filed under Uncategorized | Comments (2)Amusing
A little something to brighten everyone’s day…
So I’m sitting at a stoplight, windows down, music up, and I hear an unusual amount of noise coming from the minivan next to me. I’m curious, so I turn down my radio to listen… and hear hard core rap leaking through the cracked windows of this FOREST GREEN FORD WINDSTAR. So I think, “Okay, maybe it’s just some kid who got stuck with his mom’s car,” and I pull up to check it out. But no. It’s a 43-year-old balding white man.
The laughter… oh my goodness the laughter.
Rock on, man.
Filed under Uncategorized | Comments (2)
